FALLING LEAVES.

With all the ramblings of my mind coupled with the infuriating noise I’m currently hearing from my bedroom window, it is seemingly tortuous for me to write a post tonight but I will nevertheless.

My spirits were high as I heard my alarm to wake me up. I immediately got up from bed and fixed whatever I had to fix before looking decent enough to go out of the house. So I claimed my newly sewn skirt from the tailor. It is perfectly imperfect. Then I went to check my email. There were a lot but that’s not new to me. What’s astonishing was that Nelson started posting some stuff into my wall in Facebook. It all started when I told him that I have an “underground” blog site. I’m sorry for calling you an underground but it’s for my own good. See, I don’t want other people to pester on my thoughts. This is just between you and me. So thanks for being my steadfast confidant. So what Nelson did was he Googled me. He got various results but a search engine is just like a calculator you know. It gives you the correct answer if you key in the exact formula. In case of Google, if you search for the correct term. I guess he didn’t because he didn’t find you. Haha! But to tell you frankly, I was flabbergasted of all the results he had. Some are just very hilarious, I couldn’t stop laughing. He even commended me for having numerous results. And I was flattered, of course. Here’s one example:

Kamzopheth on Netlog: “I want to write books about spirituality and advance technologies”—I wrote this when I was in high school. Apparently, I want to change it to: “I want to see my byline on Cosmopolitan Magazine, particularly on an article about sex” …you might lol at that but I am not kidding.

The flatter carried on until I became aware of the time so I got dressed for school wearing the new awesome skirt. Nothing happened during Advertising class. It’s still the same-old, mind-blogging, time-consuming subject which I loathed from the very start. But then came my Literature class. We discussed a poem by E. E. Cummings entitled Falling Leaves. It’s just a two-liner but it expresses such profound emotion. Our teacher showed us a slideshow of falling leaves and that really touched me. Here are some of my thoughts after seeing the slideshow:

·         Letting go- as the leaves fall, it signifies that they are finally letting go to the branches that they are hanging on to.

·         Death- when the leaves reach the ground, they no longer have life and they will reach the decline stage or death

I then contemplated. I should let go. So, yes, tonight I say farewell to all my illicit thoughts. I should let go of the small parcel of love I have for ugh, you know. It is the love that once made me head over heels… but the same love that transported me to the pit of shadows; the same love that bound me to think against a very good friend; the same love that morphed me into a vindictive monster that I am today. So I think it’s about time. In fact I think it has been long overdue. So from now on, I shall no longer believe in that kind love because the leaves have finally fallen and they will soon die. My type of love should be one that would bring out the best in me. I don’t think I have found that kind of love yet but I’m not gonna stop and I’m not giving up until I finally get seize it.

By the way, Hugo is sick but I won’t fret because I think he’ll be in good health really soon. I bombarded him with my hugs and kisses. Despite the drama, there is still something I am thankful for today. I got a high grade in my Philosophy class. It just shows that there is still cosmic order in the universe. Like what I’ve read from Stephen Chbosky’s THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER, “I want you to know that I’m both happy and sad and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.”