Dreams are my Reality.

Have you tried waking up with involuntary tears flowing from your eyes? Or with a smile which might have made your day? I know I have.

My day starts after I wake up from a dream and just this morning, a very idyllic dream. Or more like a delusion. It was a dream where all wearies were vanished, the entire world’s deception, drudgery, wrecked dreams, all vanished. What was left was uncontaminated happiness. Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t in love in that dream like most of you would have perhaps imagined. Nope. It was a dream where all my top-of-mind problems were gone, mostly school responsibilities. And all of a sudden….SNAP!!! I woke up and became conscious that it was all a dream. I hated it! I mean, I have really melancholic dreams in the past which I have sworn to God that I won’t let them happen in real life. But this dream I had, I would give up everything in the world just to make it a reality. But no can do. I guess that’s the main reason why we have dreams—for us to get a glimpse of the “what if’s”. It’s peculiar how I have read in a book before about a very fascinating fact about dreams. It said that we all have an average of 36 dreams per night, only that we remember the most recent one. 36? That’s a huge number considering that Sigmund Freud once theorized that our dreams are aspirations in life or symbolisms of fears.

Okay. Enough about dreams.

I have been a movie buff lately. The other day, my classmate Jim gave me a file of the movie Pride and Prejudice. See, Jim is like a hacker of some sort. Forgive me. If you would take a peek at the files at his laptop, you would suspect that he is a pirate. He has hundreds of movie files, no kidding. So what I do is I lend him my USB flash drive and he would put in a movie for me. So last Tuesday I watched Pride and Prejudice starring my favorite, Keira Knightley. It was a very appealing story about a how people do things in the old days. And last night during my Film Appreciation class, we watched Requiem for a Dream. It is a very unsettling film about drug addiction which made me come to the conclusion that I will never in my entire life do drugs. Well, actually I used to tell myself that I must try to use prohibited drugs just for the sake of having to tell everyone that I’ve tried it. Doing drugs is one of the revolting things I want to try during my youth. Other than that, I also want to try to kiss a girl and have premarital sex. You might laugh at me but I’m serious at this. It might be disreputable but I want to try it if opportunities will permit me. But if not, I wouldn’t mind.

What else?

Oh! I forgot to tell you that I have been wanting to write a love story. Not a novel but just a short one. I want it to be fictional. I know you know that I’ve tried writing a love story before but it was a true love story and was published. I know. Shame on me. So I want it to be fictional this time. Let’s see if I can make it even if it wouldn’t be in first person P.O.V.

And by the way, this morning, he told me he loves me so I told him that I love him too.

Hahahahaha!

Smoochy2x!

The pressure is on. Bring it.

Everybody says they hate Mondays. I say otherwise. For me, Monday is an extension of my weekend since my first class starts at 5:30 pm. Except for the unusual Mondays when our call time for Theatre class starts at 4 or 4:30. But it doesn’t matter. Nothing will ever change the reality that I love Mondays and I abhor Tuesdays and Thursdays.

So since it’s a Monday I want to tell you that I have just had a very prolific weekend. Prolific in the sense that I was able to carry out a lot of things for myself, not for school or for something else, solely for myself which makes me feel even more victorious. I went to school at Friday night with my friends since there was a street party outside our school. It was breathtaking. I can’t help but admire how great my school is. No other school could have pulled it off, I mean, close the streets just for a stupid merrymaking is undisputedly grandiose, more like ostentatious. So I ate, drank, smoked a few cigars and exchanged some stupid-but-informative conversations with my friends.

Good things come to an end so I came home past ten and woke up with a busy Saturday morning. I Had a meeting with our Journ teacher at Bob’s and I just got myself a whole load of crap. I’m sorry. I meant work, not crap. The rest of my Saturday was spent with my mom and my sister as we shopped till we dropped. I really had fun. In fact, so much fun that when I got home, I was too tired to function, and considering that I was once again attacked by the growing wisdom tooth. I went straight to my room, turned the AC on, and read my book. See, I’ve been reading this book, Naomi and Ely’s No Kiss List. It’s a very excellent book. I mean, not that I read books which are not good. I will know if the book is good the moment I read the first sentence of the book. And the first line of this one sure caught my attention. It was, “I lie all the time.” Right after I read the first line, I kept on reading. But hell, the book is somewhat lengthy. I haven’t finished it yet, actually because I have been having some sleeping problems recently. Everytime I read the book, like for example, a couple of chapters, I feel sleepy all of a sudden like the book is some kind of a sleeping pill. Surreal. But no worries, I’m sure I am going to finish reading in no time. Just this morning, I typed the title of the book in my Google search bar. I was so pleased to find out that the book is going to be made into a movie starring my favorite, Hayden Panettiere. I adore her. She would be perfect for the part of Naomi. I would recommend this book to my friends since it’s not your standard romance tale. This one is a bizarre, convoluted but matter-of-fact kind of story. It is for typical adolescents like me.

In the middle of the whole weekend extravaganza, I managed to squeeze in watching a TV series which my dad sent me through mail. It’s Melrose Place. I know you have heard of the old Melrose Place. It was the one which aired from 1992-1997. But this is a new one- 2010. I really adored the cast especially the character of Ella Sims. Her occupation was a publicist, some kind of a PR person whom I call a spin doctor. She works with the biggest stars in Hollywood and protects them from bad publicity. And what’s even more delightful about her? She wears nothing but the best: Manolos, Berkins, Louboutins, and a whole lot you could possibly imagine. She is my ultimate female crush. Her body is just perfect that when you see her take her clothes off, you would want to go grab some porn. No, seriously. The actress that plays her role is Katie Cassidy.

Katie Cassidy in the pool in the courtyard of Melrose Place

 I'm sure you know her. She is in the newest season of Gossip Girl. Her job is my dream job. Having a platinum card and swiping it in every big hotel there is and having one night stands. That is what you call life!

And oh, by the way I saw the movie Letters to Juliet just yesterday. It is a very stirring movie which taught me to wait for my ultimate love. In the story, there was a 65 year old woman who overcame seemingly insurmountable odds just to meet her one true love once more. Now that’s true love! Whoever said that love is only for teenagers has got to watch this movie. It will tell you that even though you have everything in the world, you would still look for for someone to share it with. You have to look for that person regardless if it takes you 50 years.

Sophie with Claire

So here I am in another manic Monday. We are approximately 2weeks away from staging our play and I am a little bit pressured with all the hustle and bustle. But we all know I can get it over with. I always do. Okay, so wish me luck as I triumph over the world one day at a time. Smoochy2x!

I kiss today goodbye.

I apologize I missed out posting for like a week. You see, I have been very active with all the school matters so let’s take this one by one, okay?

SUNDAY.

I went to school in the broad daylight. We had our Mass Comm All Stars which is like a sports affair for all the MC studs in our school. It was agonizing. I played as a beach volleyball player because they lacked members. The heat was scorching and I couldn't believe that I was able to do a successful service. Sure, I’ve played volleyball sometime in high school but that wasn't for sports’ sake. That was for leisure. So yeah, I guess my self-esteem was notched up a bit because of that. The funny thing about the whole day was actually me joining the swimming competition. I know how to swim. There’s absolutely no question about that. I know the appropriate breathing, body structure and all that jazz. But there’s a major setback, I don’t know how to dive! Good thing I talked my classmates into it. Since it was our class’ event, I asked permission if I can just stay sunken in the pool while others were attempting to dive via the diving board. So yes, I was a total laughing stock. Just visualize all the other participants gearing up themselves, on the diving board, while I was alone there under water. I know, it’s just so hilarious and I still can’t get over it. You know what’s surprising? I won third place. Ha ha! It’s relatively astonishing, I know. That’s basically all about the All Stars, the rest of the events were merely tiresome. But there’s one tinier bit that’s remarkable about last Sunday. I insisted on being left behind by my friends because my conscience just can’t take the fact that I haven’t heard mass since it was a Sunday. I felt the need to at least go to the chapel and pray. After I knelt down and thanked God for the week that had passed, I left the chapel better-off as ever. When I was already riding the jeepney, to a certain extent far away from our school, I slipped my hand in my pocket and noticed that my phone wasn’t with me. I searched for it in my bag but to no avail. And then it suddenly hit me. I must have left it in one of the pews in the chapel. I had another trip going back to school. I ran as swiftly as you could probably imagine. My heart was beating as fast as an automobile in a race, accelerating every second. As I climbed up the flight of stairs in the chapel, I saw it. It was there. Still there. Still. The word happy would be an understatement of what I really felt that time. I was grateful, conscientious, poignant, and awakened. I had mixed emotions all of a sudden. I went home swearing to all the saints in heaven that I won’t let that happen again.

MONDAY.

Adieu 18, hello 19. I’m one step closer to my “age goal”. I ate loads of my favorite Carbonara. I just couldn’t get enough. Then, I covered some events in the Uweek with my “staff” and had a lunch date with a friend. I wrote a news article, watched the much-anticipated Golden Voice competition with my classmates and partied to the tune of Waka-Waka by GMT which was totally breathtaking. We then went home and I went to sleep without even turning on the PC! I was that tired. Dead beat as in muscle pains and mental torture kind of tired.

TUESDAY.

I don’t feel like talking about Tuesday. It was lame. Mediocre. And we all know that mediocrity kills.

TODAY.

It has been a habit of mine to check my phone for new messages the second I wake up and realize that it’s a new day. So I did, today. And I received a message from my Journalism teacher saying that my article was published in the morning paper. It was rather odd but I wasn’t really that happy. I don’t know why. I exchanged several text messages with my editor because of this article I wrote about which needed so many follow up questions.  It was very nerve-racking. I had to think  about a lot of things. I blame my volunteerism. It hurts to know that the blame is on me. I am the culprit. Anyway, truth hurts. But I can handle the truth.

I then went to school and ironed some stuff (figuratively). Had lunch with King and Mary Anne at some Chinese restaurant which I now like, by the way. I then watched Gerhard as he deliberately tortured the cast of our play to death. Went home and received a package which was from my dad. He sent me original records of some renowned artists in the music scene today—Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus, Neyo and David Cook. Where can you find a father like that, huh?

And here comes another chapter: GLEE.

Omigod, it was grand. Awesome to the 10^th power. Here are a few notes and reactions if you don’t mind:

·         Finn auditioning for the cheerios? That was entirely funny. He was cute but he looked like an oversized cabbage patch kid.
·         Rachel’s new look. She looks pretty hot. I bet she’s going to land a top spot in FHM again. And I like seeing her with Finn as an official couple holding hands and clingy all the time.
·         Mike Chang and Tina- They actually look adorable together. I like Asians because I am one. But it’s unfair to Artie’s part, right?
·         Beiste- I pity her. I know I shouldn’t but I do. She has a psychological disorder. I forgot what it’s called, though.
·         Sue Sylvester. Well, she continues to rock my world with her to-die-for one-liners!
·         One question: How come I didn’t see Emma? I was looking forward to what was gonna happen to her and Mr. Schu.
·         Sunshine Corazon- made me proud for being Filipino. I haven’t felt this way since Lea Salonga.

To wrap it all up, another stressful day passed. Here I am tonight making it up to you by writing a rather lengthy blogpost. Good night and don’t worry because I’ll keep you updated. 

FALLING LEAVES.

With all the ramblings of my mind coupled with the infuriating noise I’m currently hearing from my bedroom window, it is seemingly tortuous for me to write a post tonight but I will nevertheless.

My spirits were high as I heard my alarm to wake me up. I immediately got up from bed and fixed whatever I had to fix before looking decent enough to go out of the house. So I claimed my newly sewn skirt from the tailor. It is perfectly imperfect. Then I went to check my email. There were a lot but that’s not new to me. What’s astonishing was that Nelson started posting some stuff into my wall in Facebook. It all started when I told him that I have an “underground” blog site. I’m sorry for calling you an underground but it’s for my own good. See, I don’t want other people to pester on my thoughts. This is just between you and me. So thanks for being my steadfast confidant. So what Nelson did was he Googled me. He got various results but a search engine is just like a calculator you know. It gives you the correct answer if you key in the exact formula. In case of Google, if you search for the correct term. I guess he didn’t because he didn’t find you. Haha! But to tell you frankly, I was flabbergasted of all the results he had. Some are just very hilarious, I couldn’t stop laughing. He even commended me for having numerous results. And I was flattered, of course. Here’s one example:

Kamzopheth on Netlog: “I want to write books about spirituality and advance technologies”—I wrote this when I was in high school. Apparently, I want to change it to: “I want to see my byline on Cosmopolitan Magazine, particularly on an article about sex” …you might lol at that but I am not kidding.

The flatter carried on until I became aware of the time so I got dressed for school wearing the new awesome skirt. Nothing happened during Advertising class. It’s still the same-old, mind-blogging, time-consuming subject which I loathed from the very start. But then came my Literature class. We discussed a poem by E. E. Cummings entitled Falling Leaves. It’s just a two-liner but it expresses such profound emotion. Our teacher showed us a slideshow of falling leaves and that really touched me. Here are some of my thoughts after seeing the slideshow:

·         Letting go- as the leaves fall, it signifies that they are finally letting go to the branches that they are hanging on to.

·         Death- when the leaves reach the ground, they no longer have life and they will reach the decline stage or death

I then contemplated. I should let go. So, yes, tonight I say farewell to all my illicit thoughts. I should let go of the small parcel of love I have for ugh, you know. It is the love that once made me head over heels… but the same love that transported me to the pit of shadows; the same love that bound me to think against a very good friend; the same love that morphed me into a vindictive monster that I am today. So I think it’s about time. In fact I think it has been long overdue. So from now on, I shall no longer believe in that kind love because the leaves have finally fallen and they will soon die. My type of love should be one that would bring out the best in me. I don’t think I have found that kind of love yet but I’m not gonna stop and I’m not giving up until I finally get seize it.

By the way, Hugo is sick but I won’t fret because I think he’ll be in good health really soon. I bombarded him with my hugs and kisses. Despite the drama, there is still something I am thankful for today. I got a high grade in my Philosophy class. It just shows that there is still cosmic order in the universe. Like what I’ve read from Stephen Chbosky’s THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER, “I want you to know that I’m both happy and sad and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.”

A sad reality that exists in the world unbelievably persists.

Since the dawn of my blog, I have been very engrossed with having wanted to write a post everyday if only I can. More than ever, now that my blog is all new-fangled and furnished, all the more that I want to spend time with it. Other than being a diversion, I consider it as an outlet to vent out all my sentiments- happy or sad.

I woke up really late today because last night I rearranged all the workings here and acknowledged the odds that I might welcome visitors and or viewers for my blog. I’m also considering advertisements but that is quite impossible right now since no one sees all these posts but me…but that is about to change. Anyway, going back, I woke up late and made a banner for my blog. As you can see, it already has a banner, yesterday it didn’t have one. I was too engrossed that I forgot to prepare for lunch. Boohoo. But don’t fret just yet. My aunt owns a store near our house so I bought my favorite food which is also Hugo’s favorite food and god, he ate a lot!

I went to school earlier than usual today because of some reasons I don’t want to thrash out because they are just so impertinent. We had a production meeting for the play like we always do and we were tasked by our teacher to watch a technical run for some other play which I forgot the title. I’ve been so forgetful lately, it kills me. I saw the set design and I was enticed, the stage looked like a room of a typical youngster with playthings, garments, and all that jazz. But then again, when it already started, it had awakened the activist side of me. It was so thought-provoking.

Here goes the plot:

Two kids who happened to be sisters are locked in two rooms with only a thin wall separating one from the other. They were provided with toys and clothes but they were not content because they were not allowed to see each other. But that doesn’t mean that they don’t converse to each other because they do. They shout to one another when they have something to say and they always have a lot to say, so yes, there was so much yelling. The question is, “Why weren’t they not just locked up in one room instead? And why were they locked up in the first place?” Brace yourself. Their mother is a bad influence who is sexually promiscuous. She is like a prostitute who gets compensated for sex and she doesn’t give any damn about her children. As for the two kids, they are gradually becoming like their mother. They are already in their puberty and they always pleasure themselves-self gratification. You know what I mean. They give pleasure to each other- finger masturbation. What’s sad is that they always long for it. I know it is a reality. But what’s sadder is that they are just kids which makes it a sad reality because this scenario really exists. How awful.

After watching the technical run, I have decided to watch the play itself two weeks from now. Maybe I’m going to ask Bonn to watch it with me. Speaking of, Gerhard has been bugging me to fall in love with you know who again. He said that he likes it when I’m in love because I become good and kind and all that. I don’t think it’s true. I think I’m just the same when I’m in love, I’m just better-off. I mean, not that I’m sorrowful right now. Believe me, I am in high spirits. So I’m still gonna think it over. I want to be in love. Again. But with the same person? I really don’t know...yet. Baby steps, dahlin…baby steps. 

Vindictive is the Word

Oh yes, it is. Gee whiz, I don’t know where to start.

So, we had no class last Friday since PNoy declared that it would be a day for the commemoration of the Eid ul Fitr which is about the Muslim thingy. I don’t really know what it’s all about; I’m just thankful because there’s no class because of it so I guess it’s really something great. Alright, so that day should be a day for me to do whatever I was supposed to do. I was supposed to wake up at 8, meet possible sponsors for our musical play and spend the whole day at BDA dance hall which is by the way owned by one of my classmates, Camille (I know, we have the same name but different spelling). But there had been changed of plans. Our PM decided to meet us at 1:30PM at KFC Lacson. I had no choice but to abide. So I went there in my fab as ever outfit…we had a meeting and tackled lots of stuff. We then went to some sponsors.

During the late afternoon: ring, ring.

Me: Hello?

Mama Didi: Where are you?

Me: Oh, I’m a nomad today. Haha!

Mama Didi: Meet me at Robinson’s now, I have something that you might like.

Me: You meen for my birthday?

Mama Didi: Yes.

So she was supposed to buy me a fab dress, however I had to go to SM with my friends to meet with a possible sponsor. When we were already there, it turned out that we were not going to have a meeting after all because the marketing manager wasn’t there. I immediately called Mama Didi back and we strolled some malls and finally, she bought a gift for me.

And then it suddenly struck me. My birthday is so effin’ near already and I don’t have any plans whatsoever yet. Part of it is because I really don’t want to grow old. I want to stay as an 18-year old forever. Another part of it is because I’m broke. Let’s face it, I spend way too much on insignificant, unimportant things. Anyway, back to the original topic.

Saturday? Oh yes, Saturday!

I woke up late, as usual and went to class at 9am even though my class starts at 8. I know, right?! Good thing I didn’t have anything to take like quizzes or seatworks because I was one of the people who got a high grade in the exam. Yay! Hold your horses. Don’t rejoice just yet. My teacher assigned me to pass two articles to him after a few hours. So, I worked hard on it in the evening but let’s just skip that part. There were still lots of things that happened to me in between waking up and sleeping again in the evening.

I watched the cast of the play rehearse at BDA.

When I got bored, I texted Bonn if he was at Rob. He was so I asked him if we could go eat some ice cream. He said yes so I put some powder on my nose and off I went to have a date. Actually I’m really not sure if that was a date. But I want to consider it as a date. In the middle of our ice cream licking sessions at Fiorgellato, guess who approached us? Apple and King. Surreal but nice. We talked about books and a few small talks and after that, they asked permission to leave. When I saw them walk away, I asked Bonn if he is hurting or something. He said he isn’t so I was like, “Ooookay”.

We then continued to eat gelato and Nadine, Nelson and Carla just sprouted like mushrooms out of nowhere. Nadine asked us if we wanted to go to Sorrento to have a few drinks. We went to L’Fisher Chalet and then had dinner. Here are some photos:

Today.

Today was a disaster. It was time for my sister and my cousin to go the dentist to have their braces adjusted so I went with them. All we got was a whole morning of non-stop swearing and profanity from our aunt. She is such a bitch! She was talking about stuff that are way out of line considering that she hates our parents but we have really nothing to do with it. You know what, I think she has a psychiatric disorder because she kept talking about all her bitter childhood experiences. I just wanted to put a stop to all the whining and the shouting. Good thing I wasn’t a sponge. I was a filter. I didn’t let all her bitter words get into my system. Arrrrgh! But I survived. My sister, my two cousins and I all went home in one piece, thank God!

Tomorrow will be another manic Monday. So many things to do, so little time. Don’t worry, dearie…I’ll keep you updated.

X0x0

weak

W.E.A.K.

Weak. I Felt weak all of a sudden.

Whatta day. Let’s start from the very beginning. I woke up at around 8am. I immediately jumped out of my pajamas put on some decent clothing and went out to our tailor. I think I forgot to tell you that last time when I was almost late for school, I found out that my skirt was not ironed so I tried to do it myself. And by the word “tried” I mean I accidentally burned it. So, goodbye skirt! I had to ask the tailor to make me a new one and I am so excited. I had her sew a different cut for me for a change.

Letters. I know I’ve told you that there was this musical play that my class is currently producing. With that, we need budget. We decided to seek the help of some of the most renowned organizations here in the city and some of the government officials as well. I delivered some of the letters today and god, it made me really tired.

Auditions. This morning I have decided to audition to be one of the DJ’s or news anchors for our school’s radio station. Confidence? I had it in me. But I don’t know what happened because when I was already there I didn’t audition. Bullshit!

Old films. I thought we were not going to meet for our film appreciation class. Turned out I was wrong. I just found out that my term grade for Film App is 85. So-so. I really didn’t care even if it would be 75. Who would? And the worst part? Our teacher let us watch a very old film. Black and white. Casablanca. Boo-hoo.

Home. Here I am, in front of my computer. I can’t generalize my feeling right now but it seems like I feel happy but I feel empty. I know it’s weird. Let’s face it, I’m weird. I received a message in Facebook from one of my BFF’s. She told everyone (close friends) that she is already committed to a relationship with the guy he’s dating, the guy that I don’t really like for her. He’s just not good enough for her, if you know what I mean. Anyway, it’s her decision anyway and I have no right to get in the way. I should be happy for her but how come I’m not? I have this strange feeling that I think I’m becoming jealous.

Jealous. I think I have become jealous of the feeling of being in love. I am in love, always have been. But in love with a definite person of the opposite sex? I guess not. I miss that feeling. You know, when you catch yourself smiling for no reason at all…head over heels! But there is still a single cell in my system which says, “Hey! You’re gonna find him someday! Don’t fret.” Oh well, I really hope so and he better come soon!.

Wish me luck on this book I’m reading. I’m about to finish it already. I’ve decided to go back to reading romance novels, by the way. I thought it would be a very good distraction to keep me away from all the harsh realities of life.

TTFN!

P.S.: I'm waiting for the cabbage patch doll I ordered. Hope it arrives in the mail tomorrow. Yipee!

I’m not affected.

Much has happened during the last couple of days…


1.) My letter to the Vice Chancellor for Administration has been approved.


Good thing I’m friends w/ the new VCA. We crossed roads at school one time and he told me that when he saw my name on the letter, he approved it right away. Well, holy!!! Relations really help. Good ones, that is.


2.) I’ve finally finished the letters for the play.


Here’s the thing, when it comes to proposals, approval letters and all sorts of corporate communication stuff, it has got to be who has to do it. I actually don’t know why my classmates really put me into these kinds of things. They say I’m good at it. I kind of disagree. I’ve been busy producing very impressive letters for solicitation and sponsorship for our play. It has made me think a lot for the past couple of weeks and we’re about to release them next week already. The letter is already reproduced and about to be given out to their respective recipients.


3.) Exams.


Ugh! Tell me about it. Exams are really stressful. The others are very easy like I could have just walked into the examination room without studying and the results would be in flying colors. But there were really some who made me think like my brain matter were scattered on the floor. I’ve told you this several times I guess. Advertising, it just kills me! Journalism? Oh, I don’t know anymore. My grades are hanging by a thread and the worst part is, I don’t care!


4.) Sad movies always make me cry.


So today was a blast (excluding the exam part). My aunt, whom I consider as one of my BFF’s asked me out to go see a movie with her. We watched Sa’Yo Lamang which was about a problematic Filipino family. I cried a river. I always do.


5.) Dinner w/ friends. Yippee!


Every year we make it a point to see each other once or twice and just talk about random things. Tonight we talked about the usual: who’s virgin and who’s not?... What’s new? And by then I’ve had a dozen of realizations. Brace yourself.


I think I’ve had enough rest. Physical rest has been there. But the heart, oh the heart has had enough rest. I’ve been having suitors for the past years and there were a lot. Not to brag but I lost track counting already. I’ve been thinking that I won’t commit myself into a relationship because I thought I wasn’t ready. But now I’ve finally decided. I am ready because I decide to be. And I swear to all the saints in heaven that I will be having a relationship before the year ends. Swear to God.


Also, a friend told me about something. It was when I realized that I don’t care about “it” anymore. And I am so glad. I thought my soul was going to be impaired again. But no, it won’t happen… at least not anymore. I’ve learned.
Now, about the “V” word. I’m still debating with myself if I’m already to let go of it. See, there’s no question about want. We’ve all been wanting to lose it since pubes. But I just don’t want to do it with just anybody. I know you know what I mean.


Going back. I just don’t care about it anymore. Bottom line is, I’m happy. My friends make me happy. I don’t know what I would do without them.