Breathtaking

Dear life, I have exceeded the acceptable limit of stress this year. I’d like to be reimbursed in a form of a happier, stress-free 2011...Naaaah! Just kidding!

     It has been my personal practice to have some sort of a recollection this time of the year, when it’s about to reach its end. I would usually listen to old songs, review old photos and videos and recall all the happenings since January 1 as if in a form of a chronological flashback or dramatic media res. I would then cry over all the instances when I laughed so hard that I peed, hoping that those moments will have a part two in the next year to come and I would laugh at instances when my self-esteem was really down the drain, having the I-was-able-to-get-it-over-with feeling with unparalleled bragging rights. In fact, I was deeply fascinated by this Facebook application a week ago which showed me all of my statuses since January 1 up until December 24. I can’t help but smile or even laugh at all the ideas I had over the past months. Nostalgia is indeed a bitch.

     2010 was splendidly rich with twists and turns. Love blossomed and love withered. There were friends gained and fortunately, none lost although there is lack of communication. The bottom line is that I was able to get it over with, and with a commendable finish at that. A big part of my, shall I call it “triumph” goes back to my family and friends who have been very supportive of my endeavors no matter how seemingly impossible and downright challenging. My family- from immediate up to my distant aunts, uncles and cousins never fail to inspire me. My friends give me their unfathomable care that whenever I feel like I’m catapulted to the deepest pit of hell, they are there, willing to experience hell with me. Their simple act of giving me a massive hug causes my disposition to rapidly shift from awful to good, to better, to awesome. To my friends Gerhard, Nikki, Erice, Nelson, Anika and Bonn, no amount of ‘thank you’ can probably suffice.

     As the year ends, I have some bizarre, convoluted but matter-of-fact and slap-on-the-face realizations. First, I realized that I don’t really have a talent. Yes, I may have certain skills but they’re not really something that I am proud of because I believe that I learned those through rigorous trainings or unanticipated life experiences. People say that everybody is special and I personally think that it is just another way of saying that no one is. Makes sense, don’t you think? Second, blood is thicker than water. I know that I’m not really affectionate when it comes to my family but I intend to correct that this year.  Third, by knowing for a fact that suffering is necessary to gain wisdom. I used to whine at every minute detail, but now, every time I’m racked with sorrow or even sometimes when I’m just acutely miserable, I will try to remember that my problem is nothing compared to what Jesus had when he was nailed to the cross. Moreover, correcting my attitude is most of the time the solution to the problem. And lastly, that I should always bear in mind that God’s greatest gift to me is God himself which means that everything I do from this day onwards should be for his glory.

     I’m thrilled as well as anxious to spend yet another year of my life. I bet it will be another one hell of a roller coaster ride but I’ll be sitting back, enjoying the ride despite the topsy-turvy flight because I know that it’s all part of a great plan.

     So, I thank you, my dearest blog for being my constant companion through it all. You are my preposterous diversion, my fountain of youth, my self-inflicted pain and most of all, my sweetest downfall. Having you is way better than having a boyfriend. You have been my most sympathetic outlet though I know I have failed at times when I could have updated you more often but I didn’t due to some inevitable circumstances or sometimes, just because of my indolence. I know I owe you a lot of posts already and I really feel terrible about that. Allow me to share a few of my favorite lines from my some of my blog posts this year:

·         I’m not washing my bloody erring hands for the sake of coming clean like what Lady Macbeth did. In fact, I, myself am guilty as charged

·         We are salivating just like the stray dogs. We are no less than the agitated spectators who watched the gladiators fight to death in the old Roman arenas. And that is just mean.

·         I’d rather mingle with the company of other men than voluntarily put a leash on my neck. After all, I am just a teenager. It’s too early to stress myself about the yucky love stuff.

·         Without a doubt, our emotions escort us to do the most impulsive things. Emotions can fetch us laughter or could pilot us to tears.

·         “I want you to know that I’m both happy and sad and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.”

·         et. Al

And so today I vow that I will try to update you as often as my schedule permits and that I shall not blog about the senseless stuff (like I always do). It’s not really a resolution; it’s more of a covenant.

     As I leave 2010, I intend to leave with it all the negativity and all the impure thoughts and hang-ups. They’re no good as they could only spoil the New Year. Goodbye, hatred, insecurity, and shattered dreams. Hello to peace, prosperity and love. It will be a clean slate, an untainted new beginning. But if I were to live 2010 all over again, I would do it, ceteres paribus (in Economics means ‘with all things remaining constant’).

     So here I am today, geared up to conquer the next 525,600 minutes by simply being the same-old-brand-new me- 19, single, ambitious, sometimes attacked by insanity, talent-less but valiant… nevertheless, happy and definitely contented.

Through it all, I can say that 2010 was epic- grace under pressure, style under stress, death-defying and to cap it off, yes, breathtaking!

‘Til the ice breaks,

Sophie

Wish me luck!

AS REQUESTED BY MY DEAR FRIEND, NELSON REMO...HERE GOES MY PERSONAL STATEMENT.....I'M KEEPING MY FINGERS CROSSED...SO HELP ME GOD...

It is a well known fact that power attracts, and like many others, I have been enchanted by the power of the written and spoken word. I strongly believe that the media is the most powerful entity on earth and that without education, you're not going anywhere. These fascinations have created a deep interest in media and Journalism provides the perfect outlet to develop my skills.               The reason why I am applying for the 2011 Study of the U.S. Institute for Student Leaders on New Media and Politics is that it is a constructive program that will help me in realizing my aspirations of becoming a journalist and a public relations practitioner in the near future. I am particularly attracted by the institute’s powerful pedagogical resource, vibrant intellectual atmosphere and a comprehensive agenda.                It is my conviction that, in the United States, advanced educational theories, technologies and information will facilitate me immensely in the achievement of remarkable academic progress, fulfilling my aspiration to become an accomplished professional in the field of Communication. This will not only bring my dreams into reality but also make my life more meaningful and rewarding. Considering that I do not come from an affluent family, this is truly an opportunity as it could be my one and only chance of going to the United States. See, I have never been able to go outside of my home country due to my family’s financial instability but I believe that my financial incapacity will not be a hindrance in achieving my aspirations. In fact, I am thankful for the efforts of my parents who are strong believers of education for having supported my studies, no matter how burdensome.   I have heard enough about the media industry to realize that experience is everything, and as editor-in-chief of our student paper, I gain regular experience of journalistic writing and meeting deadlines. That is one of the reasons why I love to write, the challenge of putting over a complex thought or concept to a large audience of people and convey it in such a way that everybody will understand. I have also developed many skills such as interview techniques and being able to see things from another perspective. I will be more than willing to share my significant experiences with other people and at the same time learn from their own experiences as well. Journalism has a myriad of undiscovered dimensions. Having an opinionated disposition, this is solely the result of my avid interest in commentating on socio-political occurrences in the country. Being a student leader myself, it acts as a concrete platform to provide the necessary tools for legitimizing self-expression and simultaneously help me attempt to bring out the hidden details of various everyday incidents to the scrutiny of the public eye. I consider it as an encouraging solidification of the tattered union which joins me to the masses through written communication. I am proud to state that my juvenile attempts have been recognized by the schooling bodies to which I am grateful for bestowing me with awards in Journalism and student leadership since I was in high school up until now. The United States has maintained its prime position of being the core of academic excellence and securing a respectable degree from its prestigious institutions will plunge me downright into viable competition. Working amidst people with untainted calibre and becoming familiar with a culture splendidly rich in terms of diversity, heritage, and customs will be added as another enjoyable experience to the diary of my life. Thank you for giving me the opportunity of being a part of this program.

Rumor has it

It’s heartrending to think that the people I once admired are the same people giving me horror.   

I really don’t want to talk about this in here but what the hell?! This is my realm. I can pretty much do whatever I want regardless of whether or not I’m making sense. After all, it’s called a blog.

To start off, I better pose this question: WHY DO WE DELIGHT IN RUMOR MONGERING?

I don’t see anything beneficial in doing the act except maybe for the fact that we enjoy other people’s misery or if there are none, we create one for the sole purpose of having fun. We, as insatiable beings just love to see or at least hear about people having a feud. Whenever we hear gossip, we immediately jump into it and let our spiky paws take a grip of it, never letting go. We are salivating just like the stray dogs. We are no less than the agitated spectators who watched the gladiators fight to death in the old Roman arenas. And that is just mean.

What’s even more disappointing is that this is already an inherent setback that is seemingly impossible to eradicate. Although we have seen its despicable consequences several times over, still, we continue to do it. We never learn.

There are those kinds of rumors which are not really rumors but concealed truths. So when they are already out in the open, we just accept the fact that they are finally out and we even thank the Lord for having exposed them so that nothing will be keeping us awake until the ungodly hours. The second kind are the rumors which are circulated for the purpose of a having a good laugh. They’re just gags so we don’t really give a damn. And the third kind is the most horrifying. It is the kind which annihilates most of its victims; catapult them into the pit of darkness, never to recuperate. These are rumors which are total hoaxes spread my manipulative insecure people whose purpose is to destroy the core of blameless human beings.

How does it work? Well, they generate something, fabricate it, and orchestrate such big fuzz over it. What’s worse is when they already rant and tirade over a thing which might not even be true. It’s just like writing a news report about something which is not verified. It could be fallacious and worse, people might believe in something which is not even true. There are even people who easily believe in the rumors and instantaneously inject their opinions as if they have complete knowledge on what is really happening when the truth of the matter is that they don’t have the slightest idea.

I’m not washing my bloody erring hands for the sake of coming clean like what Lady Macbeth did. In fact, I, myself am guilty as charged. It just came to my senses that indeed, spreading malicious rumors are the doings of pea-brained individuals who aren’t brave enough to talk face-to-face so they spread malicious rumors instead.

Let me get this straight. I don’t want to pick a fight. I’m just stating the facts.

They, of all people should not delight in wrong; instead, revel with the truth. Anyway, truth hurts. *Read between the lines*

Liberty is mine

Who’d have thought that gift-wrapping could bring a plethora of realizations?

This afternoon when I was trying to keep myself sidetracked from the pain caused by my growing wisdom tooth, I locked myself in my room and I decided to wrap some presents. I played some soft music as I tried to reminisce and think about the recent decisions that I’ve made.

I have been a very indecisive person lately. Today it’s yes, tomorrow it’s no. So just today I broke up with my bf.

At the onset, I realized that the word ‘love’ is often confused with the word ‘like’. We say ‘I love you although what we actually mean is ‘I like you’. It’s unfair because ‘like’ is not enough. Some people say that we must take every single chance we get to be in a relationship because whether or not we end up with that person in the end, at least we learn. I agree. We should value small relationships because they are stepping stones for the main one. But not to the point that every time you enter into a new relationship, your main objective is learning. C’mon! You must at least think long-term. I know I did but it just didn’t work.

Second, I’m better off alone. I mean, not entirely alone as in solitary and introverted but alone as in single. My friends are more than enough to keep me going. Sometimes I even feel like I don’t deserve to have such friends. It makes me believe that sometime in my 19 years of existence; I must have done something really good to have been given such priceless gems. They give unsolicited but noteworthy advices. They delight in my convolution but not to the point that they tolerate my wickedness. That’s what they are. They are the siblings that God forgot to give to me so he sent them as friends instead.

Lastly, I don’t want to be pinned down. Let’s face it; I can really be a bitch sometimes. I know that this rationale is just undisputedly invalid. I just don’t want to hurt someone just because I do the things that I love to do. What if I like to kiss strangers? I’d rather mingle with the company of other men than voluntarily put a leash on my neck. After all, I am just a teenager. It’s too early to stress myself about the yucky love stuff.

But wait; don’t think that I made a hasty decision of having a break up right after wrapping the presents. It’s also one of the things that I learned- that every decision must be an outcome of a deliberation; and that all risks must be calculated. These three are just the key points or more like a summary of what I have been feeling for the past couple of weeks and now I finally break my silence, realizing that everything needs a meticulous explanation. Gee-whiz! Now I feel like I'm such a smart ass. 

And all these things I realized while wrapping presents. 

Screeeeam!

Oftentimes we scream during the creepiest, happiest, most dreadful incidents of our lives. We scream whenever we see our crush pass by the corridor. We scream when we see a cockroach.  We scream when we are enraged with all the destitutions life is giving us. But haven’t we thought of all those who just put up a smile and just scream deep down inside?

I honestly think that I still have a hung over on what we discussed in our DevComm class a week ago. My group presented a series of “give me a voice” advocacies and those became my drive to write about screaming.

Today I just wanted to scream but I couldn’t. I was timid and I started to think about all those who are possibly in the same situation as I am. I’m not saying that my ideas are suppressed or anything. It’s just that there are things that I want to say but I just couldn’t. Maybe it’s because there are some things that are needed to be kept inside the closet. Like for example, my pride. It’s all I have. Even the simple of act of saying sorry is an ordeal for me.

I really wanted to be a catalyst and advocate some changes to a lot of things. See, I am a fault-finder. I pass speedy judgment on almost everything I find erroneous or peculiar and I would really want to think aloud. But to no avail because I know that not all my motives are considered valid. In fact, some of them are just deplorable hoaxes. Nevertheless, my opinions matter a lot to me as much as it should to other people. But the sad reality is that no one cares. It’s horrifying. It’s like watching those fury animals getting killed in Discovery Channel.

My aunt once told me to voice out all my sentiments to avoid heart attacks. Come to think of it, you wouldn’t want yourself to be like that of a water-filled dam. Once full, you detonate and cause severe damage.

My solution for positive catharsis is sublimation. We should sidetrack our negative feelings to do other worthwhile actions to distract ourselves from breaking into an outrage. Instead of screaming at the top of our lungs, why don’t we just read a good book, watch a feel-good movie or perhaps clean up the mess in our rooms? That way we are able to get rid of the negativity plus we are able to do something worthwhile.


I'm not saying that we keep quiet in the corner and stop fighting for our rights. I'm just advocating for diminutive damage. For several times I have provoked other people for having offended me or any of my friends. Yes, I can be your best friend but I can also be a bitch when provoked. So, to all my detractors out there, brace yourselves. LOL, Just kidding! I have said really harsh words to some people over the years but now is the time to change that. There are a hundred ways of solving problems instead of breaking loose and screaming. I strongly believe that nothing can't be solved by a good conversation. If you have problems with a particular person, talk to him. 

After all, screaming doesn’t do you any good and it will only put a dent to your tonsils. Comical but true. 

give me 12

I really don’t get it why other people blame their emotional pains to their heart.

Every time they feel emotionally hurt- may be a breakup from a romantic relationship or a major family setback, it all boils down to a single thing- they coin it as a ‘heart break’. Why do they even label it as a heart break when the heart is just an innocent muscle, doing its sole job of pumping blood for respiration? It’s insane, isn’t it?

By definition, a heart is a muscular organ with a circulatory system that is responsible for pumping blood throughout the blood vessels by repeated, rhythmic contractions. I don’t see it anywhere in the definition that it is caught up in any possible way of taking charge of our emotions. It is the brain which does that. Thinking, decision making and even loving are just some of the utilities of our brain. 

My Psychology teacher once told us that when we are in love, the sensation is felt and being cultivated in the deepest part of our hypothalamus. So, instead of saying, “I love you from the bottom of my heart”, just say “I love you from the bottom of my hypothalamus.” I know it sounds hilarious but it is based on scientific facts. I can’t help but remember a couple years back when a giant zit had grown on my forehead and some of my relatives teased or more like accused me of being in love- all because of the zit. I mean, how can science explain that?! Unless they come up with an justification saying that love is now equated with growing zits, I would perhaps start to believe but as of now, there’s no way I will.

As for the heart break part, I have a slight idea on the underlying principle on why it’s dubbed what it is- a heart break. Of course, when we get emotionally impaired and eventually burst into tears, it comes to a point when we find it difficult to breath. There was one instance in my life when I cried so hard that my eyes didn’t look like the typical human eyes anymore. They were sore. I cried a lot, consuming several packs of tissue. And mind you, this information is not fictitious. If only you were there to witness that moment, you would probably find me as the feeblest person in the world because I was seemingly pathetic and hopeless. And yes, the mere act of breathing was an ordeal for me. You would probably say, “Omigod! Somebody please sedate her!”  We cry so hard until we feel like our heart or our whole circulatory system finds it hard to allow us to breathe. Maybe that’s why it’s called a heart break because it hurts to a great extent that we feel like our heart is going to break into pieces. It makes sense.

Now why am I telling you about these things? Simply put that I have just gone through one of the most painstakingly difficult situations in my life where I had to choose between the good and the good. It’s a dilemma, I know. I went to the bathroom and drowned myself in tears for 12 minutes. That’s all it takes for me to sober up- 12 minutes. I actually got this philosophy from one of my closest friends who told me that anything emotional only lasts for 12 minutes and the succeeding minutes after that are already considered as self-inflicted. I used to cry over petty things for hours and I finally came to my senses that crying for hours is foolish. For one, you get to bring up even the most irrelevant things and two; you might get dehydrated with all the amount of liquid coming out of your system. So I considered the 12-minute philosophy when it comes to crying.

Without a doubt, our emotions escort us to do the most impulsive things. Emotions can fetch us laughter or could pilot us to tears. What’s anomalous is that we often blame our heart for every single emotion that we feel. Or if a person is a little bit knowledgeable about Anatomy and Psychology, he or she could transpose the blame from the heart to the brain or the hypothalamus. But for crying out loud, please stop blaming your body parts for having caused you excruciating pain! It is certainly not their fault.

Shopping, anyone?

Bo Derek once said, “Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping.”

Are you ready to hear the ramblings of my idle mind? Brace yourself because the “shopping” that I’m referring to doesn’t refer to your typical connotation of shopping.

So recently I have been engrossed with all these journalistic stuff as the production of our school paper is finally looming its closing stages. It’s funny how I thought it would be over soon but then I have just been informed that after we finish the tabloid, we will be doing another one- a newsletter. I was like, “Great!” with that said in much disdain. In the past days, I have written numerous- and I mean a cornucopia of articles- news, feature, column, editorial, sports? Name it! It even reached the point where I had to give my bylines to some of my classmates just so that our paper wouldn’t look like 50% Kamille. No kidding. So each day for the last two weeks I wake up, grab a cup of coffee, and rush to the layout artist/printing press. I eat my meals (breakfast, lunch, snacks, and dinner) there like it’s my residence, or ours, with my fellow editors for that matter. Good thing the place is very well ventilated and the WiFi is commendable. So last night when we were having dinner, we talked about shopping.

Shopping is easy, isn’t it?

Hold your horses.

How about shopping for sex?

A friend of mine told me that he once rode a cab with the cab driver complaining so relentlessly. He said that a young couple (wearing their school uniform) just called him to pick them up at a famous motel. And there they were, they just had sex.  Another friend also confessed seeing a teenage couple buying condoms at a local mall. Yes, in public, and again, wearing their school uniform.

This is another sad reality. This shows us that nowadays, it is damn effortless to shop for sex. I mean, all you have to do is just turn on your computer, use the webcam and I’m sure you know what happens next. You can also try texting anonymous people and do meet-ups. Another alternative is to cater to the needs of your partner.

I had a friend who engages in premarital sex with her boyfriend in a habitual basis (like 4x/week). She says that occasionally she feels like she really wants to do it but most of the time, she feels like her BF is just compelling her to do so. However, she said that she gives it to her BF because both of them can benefit from it. To quote her, “Sex is so delicious!” Who can tap that?!

This is a reality and desolately, I don’t think that this can be eradicated. Sex is available in all the nooks and crannies. You can see prostitutes right outside school, in the Internet, everywhere! 

I’m not saying this because I’m some freakin’ saint but I am saying this because sex is actually triggered by some factors like peer pressure. If you had a classmate, for example, who talks almost everyday about her sex adventures and elicit affairs, and how amazing they are, wouldn’t you be curious and tempted? I know I am.

Of course, I also want to have sex! That’s the truth and it kills me. But here’s the thing, I want sex to be something that is not just some kind of food to satisfy a hungry stomach. If you have an itch to scratch, do you easily find a way to scratch it? I get it. What we lack is self-control.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not some kind of anti-sex activist. In fact, I am in favor of PMS. I sincerely think that sex is healthy and that it’s plays a very vital role in the development and production of our hormones. It’s just that if ever you decide to do PMS, it has to be with someone you are emotionally attached with. Just imagine every inch of your body being caressed by a person whose name you don’t even know (talking about one-night stands). And you explode in excitement.—Isn’t it a little, shall I say, disreputable?

Wow! I feel like I’m a minister or something. But seriously, the next time you plan to have sex, try to think not just twice but a hundred times over before doing the act.

Today I Spill the Beans

Finally, the cosmic forces are back on track and nature has finally taken its toll. This is it. Today I vouch for justice.

YESTERDAY

Yesterday was a total drag for me. I had to run errands. Lots of them. Those errands are not actually imposed on me by someone in an authoritative state but those errands are self-imposed. In other words, my self-inflicted pain. I had to make complimentary tickets for our play which was actually very challenging for me, given the fact that I have zero knowledge of Photoshop, whatsoever. In the afternoon, I was there during the talent night of MQ2010. I had a day of pure fatigue and exhaustion. I was supposed to interview half of the candidates for this article I’m working on. It was really hard. I was tired of waiting and running after the candidates and the worst part was, I was alone. I had nobody with me. How I wish I brought my dog Hugo with me. At least I could have talked to a real living creature. But yesterday, I was having random daydreams and in most of them, I caught me talking to myself. I am losing my sanity, no kidding. But you know what? Unbelievable as it may seem, there was actually a good part. There was this one candidate I interviewed who answered my questions with much refinement and charisma. She had really smart answers. From then on, I vowed to myself that I will be rooting for that candidate no matter what.  I was actually inspired by her story.

And also yesterday…he kinda told me that he loves me. Like really really loves me. I know, right! I knew this day would come! But hold your horses. I am still pondering on this one. Because I don’t want to make the same mistake twice, if you know what I mean. I assure you I will come up with a decision soon because I am not a person who likes to take things slow…I mean, why wait?

Remember that book I was telling you about? I already finished it. Yay me! Now I’m left with nothing. I am back to imagining wacky things just to put myself to sleep. I am still contemplating with what book to read next but right now, my mind is occupied by a lot of things. In fact, I think my thoughts will be flowing out of my ears, eyes and nose any minute from now. I just have a handful. I just wish I can get these over with.

TODAY

I know you won’t believe this but just today, I got the spot of being the editor in chief. Shame. Shame on me. I don’t know how it happened but I am really petrified about the thought of it. It is killing me. I might not be able to fulfill all my duties and there’s so much at stake. I just keep my fingers crossed.

By the way, I am totally pigging out and I’m loving it. This is something new, I want to be fat. Seriously, I quit on having to go on diets. I actually think that I would better when I’m fatter. But not the obese kind of fat. It’s the cute and cuddly kind of fat that I want to achieve.

*sighs*

*sighs*

*sighs*

As you may have noticed, my writing is really shoddy tonight or have been for the last few days. You can’t blame me. I have been engrossed with all these stuff. I only need two weeks and I’ll be back on track, hopefully.

Now I’ll be hitting the sack. Nyt!

Oh, wait, my intro doesn’t make sense. Let me enlighten you. Justice. There is still a small parcel of justice and fairness left in this world because if there are times that we are sad, when our self-esteem is way down the drain and we cry ourselves to sleep, there are also times when we are swept off our feet, our spirits are high and we soon find ourselves smiling nonstop before we sleep. The happy moments win over win the sad ones. That’s for sure. See? Everything is fair after all.  so,goodnight….THIS TIME IT’S FOR REAL. 

Dreams are my Reality.

Have you tried waking up with involuntary tears flowing from your eyes? Or with a smile which might have made your day? I know I have.

My day starts after I wake up from a dream and just this morning, a very idyllic dream. Or more like a delusion. It was a dream where all wearies were vanished, the entire world’s deception, drudgery, wrecked dreams, all vanished. What was left was uncontaminated happiness. Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t in love in that dream like most of you would have perhaps imagined. Nope. It was a dream where all my top-of-mind problems were gone, mostly school responsibilities. And all of a sudden….SNAP!!! I woke up and became conscious that it was all a dream. I hated it! I mean, I have really melancholic dreams in the past which I have sworn to God that I won’t let them happen in real life. But this dream I had, I would give up everything in the world just to make it a reality. But no can do. I guess that’s the main reason why we have dreams—for us to get a glimpse of the “what if’s”. It’s peculiar how I have read in a book before about a very fascinating fact about dreams. It said that we all have an average of 36 dreams per night, only that we remember the most recent one. 36? That’s a huge number considering that Sigmund Freud once theorized that our dreams are aspirations in life or symbolisms of fears.

Okay. Enough about dreams.

I have been a movie buff lately. The other day, my classmate Jim gave me a file of the movie Pride and Prejudice. See, Jim is like a hacker of some sort. Forgive me. If you would take a peek at the files at his laptop, you would suspect that he is a pirate. He has hundreds of movie files, no kidding. So what I do is I lend him my USB flash drive and he would put in a movie for me. So last Tuesday I watched Pride and Prejudice starring my favorite, Keira Knightley. It was a very appealing story about a how people do things in the old days. And last night during my Film Appreciation class, we watched Requiem for a Dream. It is a very unsettling film about drug addiction which made me come to the conclusion that I will never in my entire life do drugs. Well, actually I used to tell myself that I must try to use prohibited drugs just for the sake of having to tell everyone that I’ve tried it. Doing drugs is one of the revolting things I want to try during my youth. Other than that, I also want to try to kiss a girl and have premarital sex. You might laugh at me but I’m serious at this. It might be disreputable but I want to try it if opportunities will permit me. But if not, I wouldn’t mind.

What else?

Oh! I forgot to tell you that I have been wanting to write a love story. Not a novel but just a short one. I want it to be fictional. I know you know that I’ve tried writing a love story before but it was a true love story and was published. I know. Shame on me. So I want it to be fictional this time. Let’s see if I can make it even if it wouldn’t be in first person P.O.V.

And by the way, this morning, he told me he loves me so I told him that I love him too.

Hahahahaha!

Smoochy2x!

The pressure is on. Bring it.

Everybody says they hate Mondays. I say otherwise. For me, Monday is an extension of my weekend since my first class starts at 5:30 pm. Except for the unusual Mondays when our call time for Theatre class starts at 4 or 4:30. But it doesn’t matter. Nothing will ever change the reality that I love Mondays and I abhor Tuesdays and Thursdays.

So since it’s a Monday I want to tell you that I have just had a very prolific weekend. Prolific in the sense that I was able to carry out a lot of things for myself, not for school or for something else, solely for myself which makes me feel even more victorious. I went to school at Friday night with my friends since there was a street party outside our school. It was breathtaking. I can’t help but admire how great my school is. No other school could have pulled it off, I mean, close the streets just for a stupid merrymaking is undisputedly grandiose, more like ostentatious. So I ate, drank, smoked a few cigars and exchanged some stupid-but-informative conversations with my friends.

Good things come to an end so I came home past ten and woke up with a busy Saturday morning. I Had a meeting with our Journ teacher at Bob’s and I just got myself a whole load of crap. I’m sorry. I meant work, not crap. The rest of my Saturday was spent with my mom and my sister as we shopped till we dropped. I really had fun. In fact, so much fun that when I got home, I was too tired to function, and considering that I was once again attacked by the growing wisdom tooth. I went straight to my room, turned the AC on, and read my book. See, I’ve been reading this book, Naomi and Ely’s No Kiss List. It’s a very excellent book. I mean, not that I read books which are not good. I will know if the book is good the moment I read the first sentence of the book. And the first line of this one sure caught my attention. It was, “I lie all the time.” Right after I read the first line, I kept on reading. But hell, the book is somewhat lengthy. I haven’t finished it yet, actually because I have been having some sleeping problems recently. Everytime I read the book, like for example, a couple of chapters, I feel sleepy all of a sudden like the book is some kind of a sleeping pill. Surreal. But no worries, I’m sure I am going to finish reading in no time. Just this morning, I typed the title of the book in my Google search bar. I was so pleased to find out that the book is going to be made into a movie starring my favorite, Hayden Panettiere. I adore her. She would be perfect for the part of Naomi. I would recommend this book to my friends since it’s not your standard romance tale. This one is a bizarre, convoluted but matter-of-fact kind of story. It is for typical adolescents like me.

In the middle of the whole weekend extravaganza, I managed to squeeze in watching a TV series which my dad sent me through mail. It’s Melrose Place. I know you have heard of the old Melrose Place. It was the one which aired from 1992-1997. But this is a new one- 2010. I really adored the cast especially the character of Ella Sims. Her occupation was a publicist, some kind of a PR person whom I call a spin doctor. She works with the biggest stars in Hollywood and protects them from bad publicity. And what’s even more delightful about her? She wears nothing but the best: Manolos, Berkins, Louboutins, and a whole lot you could possibly imagine. She is my ultimate female crush. Her body is just perfect that when you see her take her clothes off, you would want to go grab some porn. No, seriously. The actress that plays her role is Katie Cassidy.

Katie Cassidy in the pool in the courtyard of Melrose Place

 I'm sure you know her. She is in the newest season of Gossip Girl. Her job is my dream job. Having a platinum card and swiping it in every big hotel there is and having one night stands. That is what you call life!

And oh, by the way I saw the movie Letters to Juliet just yesterday. It is a very stirring movie which taught me to wait for my ultimate love. In the story, there was a 65 year old woman who overcame seemingly insurmountable odds just to meet her one true love once more. Now that’s true love! Whoever said that love is only for teenagers has got to watch this movie. It will tell you that even though you have everything in the world, you would still look for for someone to share it with. You have to look for that person regardless if it takes you 50 years.

Sophie with Claire

So here I am in another manic Monday. We are approximately 2weeks away from staging our play and I am a little bit pressured with all the hustle and bustle. But we all know I can get it over with. I always do. Okay, so wish me luck as I triumph over the world one day at a time. Smoochy2x!

I kiss today goodbye.

I apologize I missed out posting for like a week. You see, I have been very active with all the school matters so let’s take this one by one, okay?

SUNDAY.

I went to school in the broad daylight. We had our Mass Comm All Stars which is like a sports affair for all the MC studs in our school. It was agonizing. I played as a beach volleyball player because they lacked members. The heat was scorching and I couldn't believe that I was able to do a successful service. Sure, I’ve played volleyball sometime in high school but that wasn't for sports’ sake. That was for leisure. So yeah, I guess my self-esteem was notched up a bit because of that. The funny thing about the whole day was actually me joining the swimming competition. I know how to swim. There’s absolutely no question about that. I know the appropriate breathing, body structure and all that jazz. But there’s a major setback, I don’t know how to dive! Good thing I talked my classmates into it. Since it was our class’ event, I asked permission if I can just stay sunken in the pool while others were attempting to dive via the diving board. So yes, I was a total laughing stock. Just visualize all the other participants gearing up themselves, on the diving board, while I was alone there under water. I know, it’s just so hilarious and I still can’t get over it. You know what’s surprising? I won third place. Ha ha! It’s relatively astonishing, I know. That’s basically all about the All Stars, the rest of the events were merely tiresome. But there’s one tinier bit that’s remarkable about last Sunday. I insisted on being left behind by my friends because my conscience just can’t take the fact that I haven’t heard mass since it was a Sunday. I felt the need to at least go to the chapel and pray. After I knelt down and thanked God for the week that had passed, I left the chapel better-off as ever. When I was already riding the jeepney, to a certain extent far away from our school, I slipped my hand in my pocket and noticed that my phone wasn’t with me. I searched for it in my bag but to no avail. And then it suddenly hit me. I must have left it in one of the pews in the chapel. I had another trip going back to school. I ran as swiftly as you could probably imagine. My heart was beating as fast as an automobile in a race, accelerating every second. As I climbed up the flight of stairs in the chapel, I saw it. It was there. Still there. Still. The word happy would be an understatement of what I really felt that time. I was grateful, conscientious, poignant, and awakened. I had mixed emotions all of a sudden. I went home swearing to all the saints in heaven that I won’t let that happen again.

MONDAY.

Adieu 18, hello 19. I’m one step closer to my “age goal”. I ate loads of my favorite Carbonara. I just couldn’t get enough. Then, I covered some events in the Uweek with my “staff” and had a lunch date with a friend. I wrote a news article, watched the much-anticipated Golden Voice competition with my classmates and partied to the tune of Waka-Waka by GMT which was totally breathtaking. We then went home and I went to sleep without even turning on the PC! I was that tired. Dead beat as in muscle pains and mental torture kind of tired.

TUESDAY.

I don’t feel like talking about Tuesday. It was lame. Mediocre. And we all know that mediocrity kills.

TODAY.

It has been a habit of mine to check my phone for new messages the second I wake up and realize that it’s a new day. So I did, today. And I received a message from my Journalism teacher saying that my article was published in the morning paper. It was rather odd but I wasn’t really that happy. I don’t know why. I exchanged several text messages with my editor because of this article I wrote about which needed so many follow up questions.  It was very nerve-racking. I had to think  about a lot of things. I blame my volunteerism. It hurts to know that the blame is on me. I am the culprit. Anyway, truth hurts. But I can handle the truth.

I then went to school and ironed some stuff (figuratively). Had lunch with King and Mary Anne at some Chinese restaurant which I now like, by the way. I then watched Gerhard as he deliberately tortured the cast of our play to death. Went home and received a package which was from my dad. He sent me original records of some renowned artists in the music scene today—Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus, Neyo and David Cook. Where can you find a father like that, huh?

And here comes another chapter: GLEE.

Omigod, it was grand. Awesome to the 10^th power. Here are a few notes and reactions if you don’t mind:

·         Finn auditioning for the cheerios? That was entirely funny. He was cute but he looked like an oversized cabbage patch kid.
·         Rachel’s new look. She looks pretty hot. I bet she’s going to land a top spot in FHM again. And I like seeing her with Finn as an official couple holding hands and clingy all the time.
·         Mike Chang and Tina- They actually look adorable together. I like Asians because I am one. But it’s unfair to Artie’s part, right?
·         Beiste- I pity her. I know I shouldn’t but I do. She has a psychological disorder. I forgot what it’s called, though.
·         Sue Sylvester. Well, she continues to rock my world with her to-die-for one-liners!
·         One question: How come I didn’t see Emma? I was looking forward to what was gonna happen to her and Mr. Schu.
·         Sunshine Corazon- made me proud for being Filipino. I haven’t felt this way since Lea Salonga.

To wrap it all up, another stressful day passed. Here I am tonight making it up to you by writing a rather lengthy blogpost. Good night and don’t worry because I’ll keep you updated.