lovelife...loveless???

yesterday was one of the hell days of my life...dunno...kinda hell and

heaven and hell at the same time...weird you may say,..but yeah, no

kidding...

    i just got a grade of 77 in trigonometry

...no regrets...my fault and i truly accept it...the problem is really

myself, you know...when i dont like a particular thing, i would give up

easily and disregard that...and concentrate to the things i love...and

like...and that's what happened to my grade in trig...no regrets,

really...

    another thing is...ive been sad and blue for the

past three days...because i felt loveless...i love this person wihtout

any getting any assurance if that person will love me back..yes, that's

what my idol said years ago, the "unconditional love" thingie...and i

think i am already experiencing that two-word term...

    i used

to love only the people who also loved me...and its just now that i

realize that that is being selfish...i would always want something in

return...tsk...tsk...tsk...

    back with the unconditional love

thing...i have a confession to make...i think...i think ...i think im

in love with my best friend...huhuhuhu...i dont know...but i just do

love him and it gets stronger everyday...i loved him...love him...and

will always love him...(i cant bliv im saying these lame words!!!damn

it)

    many people say that he feels the same way too...but i

should not expect anything...because failed expectations will turn to

disappointments...and damn! i have been disappointed so many times in

my 16 years of existence...

    but then again...speaking of

unconditional love...if you really love a person you should make him

happy even if his happiness means you're not part of it...

   

it hurts, i know...but im ready, where there is love, there is pain...i

am soooooo god damn ready to get hurt!!!because...if given the letters

"HRT" i can add letters "EA" to get a heart or a "U" to get hurt...but

id rather choose "U" to get hurt, than to have a "HEART" without

"YOU"...

    ive cried so many times...because of this...but still...i continue to love...