laughter, not the best medicine...rather, the best disguise

       

yes, i like the reconstruction of this cliche

   

    actually, i dont have

much to say today because nothing very peculiar happened...still the

usual, waking up at 5:30am...eat breakfast, leave for school, do the

usual teusday school stuff like observing the teusday schedule and the

regular teusday COCOSA meeting...my life is becoming more of a drage,

really...i am a person who hates routines...however, i dont have any choice but to stick to it..after

all, i am the only person who shall be blamed for this routine i have

because i was the one who made choices like going to this school...and

also, for joining certain organizations like the COCOSA, wherein i

think i am passionate about...

       

and today, when we had a meeting...i realized how busy i am going to be for the next week or for the next two days, the least...it

will already be the customary Lasallian Breakthrough in our school next

week and as ive seen during my younger years, people from different

year levels show or shall i say, brag about their own contestants for

certain events...and i am actually joining one of the events which is

word building...dream come true, you may say...lol

       tomorrow will already be

the 2nd phase of the Lasallian Star Quest and i will be one of the

emcees together with my friend, Bonard...wish me luck!!!

      

and as i end this day,

i end it with a smile...my classmates and most of my friends always see

me smiling and laughing like there's no tomorrow...but they really have

no idea....but then again, no regrets...i will maintain this

facade...before, what i know about laughter is it is considered as the

best medicine...however....i beg to differ and defy this cliche...it is

not the best medicine....it is just the best disguise...because after we laugh our hearts out, still, our dilemma stays in our hearts...agree???

        okay, i guess that would be it....

with droopy sleepy eyes (lol!). ...

*KAMZ*

TRUE LOVE'S GONNA HAVE TO WAIT

        i honestly think that im emotionally disturbed right now...yes, no kidding...

        i don't know why im feeling this way but this is my very first time to have this kind of feeling...a stupid feeling...omigod, i kinda need a councilor for this...

       okay, well, i guess i

just kinda expected too much...tsk3x...that's what's difficult, you

know...expecting...because failed expectations turn to

disappointments....you know that feeling wherein you feel that the

person you're with is already "THE ONE" and suddenly, life snap backs at you and you realize that he is not "THE ONE"...hmmmph....but then, you continue to hope and wish that he "WILL BE the one" ....you get your hopes up but you watch them fall everytime...

       but how should i react

on this???how should i feel???i've been crying for so long and it looks

like im back with the unconditional love thingie....loving without

expecting love in return...that's it...however, it hurts!!!!it so damn

hurts!!!you see the person everyday yet you don't get to say what you

want to say...love? its really kind of complicated...indeed, love

hurts....because where there is love, there is pain....maybe this is

the very reason why a number of people dont engage in

relationships...it's because they are afraid to get hurt...how selfish

of them!how selfish of them to think only of themselves...and what?

they all end up unhappy in the end...they end up unhappy because they

don't get to be with the one they love since they didnt take the

risk...and yes., love is a gamble...

       are you just gonna play

safe or are you willing to step up to the challenge? if yes, good for

you...if not...well, i guess you will end up forever single...you will

forever be afraid of getting hurt...

        sometimes,

i cry watching children with wounds or bruises in their knees...because

when i was a child i was in a hurry to grow up and fall in love...but

now that i've finally fallen, i wanna go back to being an innocent

child, knowing nothing about love...because i realized that it is

better to heal a wounded knee than to heal a broken heart...

       it would take time to

heal this wounded heart of mine...i honestly think that it would take

more than a year for my recovery....love is unfair...you tend to

love...without any assurance of getting any love back....

        i dont know what to do......but i think...true love's just gonna have to wait...

with tears,

*KAMZ*

lovelife...loveless???

yesterday was one of the hell days of my life...dunno...kinda hell and

heaven and hell at the same time...weird you may say,..but yeah, no

kidding...

    i just got a grade of 77 in trigonometry

...no regrets...my fault and i truly accept it...the problem is really

myself, you know...when i dont like a particular thing, i would give up

easily and disregard that...and concentrate to the things i love...and

like...and that's what happened to my grade in trig...no regrets,

really...

    another thing is...ive been sad and blue for the

past three days...because i felt loveless...i love this person wihtout

any getting any assurance if that person will love me back..yes, that's

what my idol said years ago, the "unconditional love" thingie...and i

think i am already experiencing that two-word term...

    i used

to love only the people who also loved me...and its just now that i

realize that that is being selfish...i would always want something in

return...tsk...tsk...tsk...

    back with the unconditional love

thing...i have a confession to make...i think...i think ...i think im

in love with my best friend...huhuhuhu...i dont know...but i just do

love him and it gets stronger everyday...i loved him...love him...and

will always love him...(i cant bliv im saying these lame words!!!damn

it)

    many people say that he feels the same way too...but i

should not expect anything...because failed expectations will turn to

disappointments...and damn! i have been disappointed so many times in

my 16 years of existence...

    but then again...speaking of

unconditional love...if you really love a person you should make him

happy even if his happiness means you're not part of it...

   

it hurts, i know...but im ready, where there is love, there is pain...i

am soooooo god damn ready to get hurt!!!because...if given the letters

"HRT" i can add letters "EA" to get a heart or a "U" to get hurt...but

id rather choose "U" to get hurt, than to have a "HEART" without

"YOU"...

    ive cried so many times...because of this...but still...i continue to love...