Crying with the Sky

This morning I cried with the sky.

I woke up to a Monday morning where shadows cast over the clouds. I used to love Mondays. It signals the start of a new week and for a person like me who is very sanguine, I think of it as a start of a new life, to continue doing the right things I’ve done the past week and an opportunity to correct the wrong things. I used to consider my Monday’s as the appetizer of my main dish, which is the rest of the days of the week. But this Monday was totally different.

I woke up with a very beaten up disposition caused by the departmental sports event that we had yesterday. That really gobbled my reserved energy for the next three days, at least. I am drained but I am happy because we bagged the thing that our class coveted the most- the championship trophy. But that’s not the reason why I’m writing this right now.

I thought this was going to be just like the usual Monday’s that I have. I got up from bed and opened my laptop and browsed through my mail and my FB notifications. I saw this message from a high school friend saying that she misses me. In a split second, tears rolled down from my eyes relentlessly just as the rain poured down from the clouds.

I miss my friends terribly. We were as close as pods in a pea during high school and things changed when we stepped into college. My closest friends went to other cities for college and my best friend migrated to another country. W-O-W! For several nights I felt solitary. I felt like being castigated because the people I love the most are leaving me just like my dad, whom I love so much. He works in another city and I’m left with my mom who is the exact opposite. Now you can’t really blame me if I developed the ‘separation anxiety’ and worse, I think history is repeating itself now that I’m already about to graduate.

I hate the feeling of leaving people and I hate the feeling of people leaving me. I love my friends so much and even just the thought of spending a day without them pains me. The joy they’re giving me is a far cry from the joy that I’m getting at home.

I love them. And before I leave them to fish-eating-fish world out there, I want to say a few words to their soon-to-be new friends who will be taking my place: BEFORE I LEAVE THEM TO YOU, PROMISE ME THAT YOU WILL LOVE THEM EVEN JUST HALF AS MUCH AS I DO.

P.S.: and yes, nostalgia is a bitch.