*Asterisk*

For many folks, an asterisk is just some futile punctuation symbol we commonly see in scripts or even just in the typical everyday sentences that we encounter; but for me, an asterisk all at once embodies tragedy, melancholy, ecstasy and at the same time nostalgia.

I perceive the asterisk not as a single parcel but as a merchandise of an amalgamation of spare parts just like an automobile. It is primed by the junction of six independent lines which intersect at one mutual pivotal point. Thus, materializing a single entity called what it is- an asterisk.

*Friends.

 It’s amazing how you unexpectedly meet a person in the middle of nowhere and suddenly you become acquaintances. You exchange glances, smiles, maybe even a few laughs and level up the rapport from acquaintance to a profounder connection- friendship. You twitch this connection and spontaneously become attached to each other. You initiate the first step. You start at the very tip, the edge of one of the independent lines in the asterisk. Another human being takes the same path that you do, starting on another edge of another independent line. And there it is, you are in the same atmosphere, in the same community but you’re never really that close. That is the first step.

When we get to know more about our friends, possibly share a few information about ourselves we move closer and closer to the focal point. We can now tell secrets to our friends and give advice to each other.

And finally, we reach the point of intersection where everything seems to be so intimate. We share our top-of-the-mind anxieties, we share the deepest family secrets, we laugh, giggle, tease and even cry together when the situation calls for it. I am not new to this platform. In fact, I have been here before and now I see myself in the same spot.

I adore my friends. We share to each other our dark secrets and we talk about every random thing that comes to our minds no matter how irrelevant or downright ridiculous. We discuss love, money, sex, masturbation, hatred and life itself as a whole- how we regard it and how we deal with it every single day. Now that I’m cognizant of where I stand (the intersection point), I am afraid to take one step further because taking another step means that we will once again be apart- a little distant in the start and miles away a few years after. I’m not jumping into things or thinking about graduation. It’s not that.

I had the similar sentiment when I was in my senior year in high school. I was thoughtful about the asterisk because at that time, I was really close to a lot of people. I was attached to my friends as if in a form of the sturdiest adhesive the scientists have ever manufactured. We had a union that we thought nobody can ever destroy. Then came the most dreadful day- graduation. The union was tattered. My friends and I were dispersed in different colleges, not just in the city but in the whole country or some even in other countries. My BFF, Anika is now at DLSU and I am here in USLS in Bacolod. What’s worse? My soul sister Erice who has been my friend since the second grade (11 years and counting) had already migrated to Canada. Now that’s double jeopardy. I feel like I am being castigated for being so sinful that God designed my life in such a way that I’m gonna have to live the rest of my life without my best buddies.

Yes, I miss them. You have no idea how much I miss them. Sometimes I look at old photographs and just cry. I miss the chit-chats, the rumor-mongering, the long phone calls, the cramming, the scheming, everything! I know they are still there for me but they are already miles and even oceans away. We have advanced to the next phase and they are so far away that sometimes, I find it hard to stretch my arms to reach them. We are once again going back to where were before, still in the same world but far apart.

How I wish I could have just remained on that intersection and just never left. How I wish I had the power to just stop the time from running and just hoisted with my friends. But what can I do? I am a nonentity, a slave of destiny.

Have you ever had that sensation of desperately wanting to embrace someone or talk to a specific persons but can’t because that person is not around? Your only remedy is to listen to old, demoralizing songs, shriek over cheap movies, read sad novels and all of a sudden you see yourself sitting at one corner, crying. It’s hard, more like devastating.

*Hope

But there’s still hope. I am the number one fan of second chances. There will be times when we will be far apart and just live separate lives but that doesn’t mean that we will be considered as extinct from another person’s sight. Hope lies within the asterisk itself.

And so, I choose to rehash the asterisk, fashion it in such a way that it will elicit hope.  So, by the power vested in me, I hereby draw a circle around the asterisk.

That way, even when my friends and I will be apart, we will still meet again, after all, life is a cycle and we run in circles. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow or the day after but for sure, somewhere in the future, we will see each other. So, to my BFF Erice, don’t you worry dear, we’ll see each other soon. You know what they say, “Missing someone should get easier each day because even if it’s a day farther from the last time you saw each other, it’s also a day closer to the next time you will.”

So I say savor every moment. Live life to the fullest, go for the jugular and conquer each day with the company of friends. Now I have Nelson, Nadine and the rest of my new-found friends in college. They usher me to pursue happiness of all forms and shift my day from bad to good to awesome! My newest advocacy: SAY NO TO THE OLD-FASHIONED ASTERISK! Lol at that.

‘Til the ice breaks,

SOPHIE