Recognition

          Upon hearing the word recognition, most of you would perhaps think of awards, certificates and medals like that of a graduation ceremony or some sort of a concluding recognition rite that we used to have when we were in grade school. But no, that’s not what I mean. According to my BFF, Merriam-Webster, the meaning of recognition is “recognizing what is present”. I have been guilty of denying or shall I say, disregarding the presence of a lot of things all these years.

I always said that my life is an unlived life, that I have never really accomplished something that can be considered as a milestone and I may not have anything to share to my grandchildren someday. I always complain about my mom who nags me to death and about school which gives me hell all the time. However, two days ago, I was enlightened. What I see are only the imperfections and I haven’t really been paying attention to what I have. I don’t recognize the blessings.

This morning when I woke up, I opened a text message from my dad saying that he was already at the airport and that he didn’t bother waking me up to say goodbye. My mom was also gone because she had to go somewhere out-of-town and my sister already left for school. I was alone, as always.

I should have set the alarm to wake me up at 5:00 so that I could have said goodbye to the most important man in my life, my dad, who has been my number one fan when it comes to everything. He would support me in all of my aspirations even when some of them are just so downright impossible. He gave in when I was a child to put a seesaw at our backyard so that I could play with it and now that I’m already a teenager, I asked him for a pole for dancing in my room, he also said yes although I’m gonna have to wait for it. He would be my number one cheerleader from afar, always telling me that I could do it and that if ever I don’t, his love for me wouldn’t be diminished. I love my dad. And I blame myself for not having spent much time with him when he was here for the holidays. I failed to recognize his efforts for working his ass off to fund my needs or sometimes, just my whims.

It’s not just that. As an insatiable being, I would ask for so many things. I remember when I was younger when I complained because not all of my godparents would remember me during the Christmas Season. I would whine and even curse their names for not having given me gifts. This year, I didn’t ask for any gifts but I was showered with a lot. Yes, I received a lot of material gifts of different sorts- clothes, shoes, cash, et. Al. But it’s the intangible gifts that count to me the most- the gift of love, family, friendship, and the wisdom to be able to appreciate all of these.

I am so blessed to be where I am today- in a very conducive room, lying at a very comfortable bed, pounding the keyboard of my laptop to write about all of these. If I keep the attitude of being discontented with all that I have, I will forever be hungry for more- unsatisfied, ungrateful. However, I also believe that wanting to have more will serve as an inspiration to be thriving. So I stand at the bridge between both.

Even now that I am home, left alone by the rest of my family members, I recognize this as a blessing in disguise. See, I would not have realized all of these if I wasn’t left home alone. Still, the key remains to be recognition.