Just when I already had the opportunity to stand out, l chose to go for a camouflage and packed 20 years in two suitcases.
It was two weeks before graduation when I got my first job interview invitation. As a graduating senior, it was something equally exhilarating and daunting. I remember a conversation with my mom during my first days here in Manila when she kind of said that what I did was unfair. During high school and college, I was one of those students who got so obsessed to school and activities. I was always an active member of organizations and that kept me really busy. It made me spend more time in school with classmates and friends than at home with my family.
A month before graduation, my mom was talking about us having a vacation somewhere so that we, or shall I say, I, can unwind after all the toil the academe has inflicted on me. However, by the time graduation was coming near, I already got quite a long list of all the scheduled job interviews in Manila which is a plane ride away from Bacolod. So, yes, I also found it unfair but who was I to reject those interviews? I am not one of those grade-conscious geniuses who may get to choose any job that would suit them. All I had was my resume and myself.
I was bound for an uncharted territory. Though I go here for vacation almost every year to visit my dad and other relatives, I have never actually ridden a jeepney and commuted by myself. Moreover, though I had an edge to other applicants because I graduated from reputable schools since I was in elementary, I reminded myself that there were thousands of graduates this year who are also vying for jobs. “I have to hurry,” I said to myself.
So I went out into the world, full of idealism while I was breathing the air of new opportunity. I had my principles, planted and sprouting. I was positive because I know was trained well by a very brilliant man. He was not a just professor to me but he became my mentor and my boss. Even more than that, he became my father and most of all, my friend. I am very thankful to my college professors and my parents who taught me how to throw myself into everything I do and put my whole heart and mind into it. They also taught me about pain- that it is accompanied by growth so I must stick it out.
There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about them and my friends.
A month after I left, I got a job I really wanted and a workplace I’m proud to belong to. The people here are as flamboyant and as vivacious as I am which made my adjustment phase a lot sooner and easier than I expected it to be.
Being far from home has been tough because it doesn’t only imply being distant from a certain geographical location but it means being miles away from your life space. My emotions get escalated by plain things like the playing of an old song or seeing an old photo online. I am also deeply moved by simple text messages by loved ones back at home, though those messages might not be sent for me directly (group messages), I still feel remembered and loved.
I keep avoiding the thought that I am sacrificing a lot for this. I am away from my family and friends but I realized that sometimes, we really have to give up some things to give way for opportunities that God crafted for us.
I must say that I am blessed to have seen this part of the world, despite the bad qualities that may seem to envelope it and through it all; I am happy and quite proud because I got this job all by myself, without the help of relatives or anybody else. Furthermore, my parents did not tell me to, “apply here” or “apply there”. It gave me the feeling that they trusted me and had faith that I will be making good decisions all by myself.
Now I’m looking forward to spending the next months and years here. Though I may have some separation anxiety attacks from time to time, I know that I will eventually get by. It just takes getting used to.
So here I am today, inching my way to success in a camouflage-- slowly but very surely.
