Addicted Once More

At First it was just a necessity, and then it became a lifestyle.

It all started with that little Peter Rabbit book I had when I was in kindergarten, followed by those Sweet Valley High paperbacks way back in grade school, Iris Johansen and Daniel Steel novels in high school and now that I’m already on my last year in college, the number of books on my reading list can be considered as a cornucopia.

Hans Christian Andersen has been a huge part of my life. Fairy tales became the staple of my definition of a happy life, one that I, like many others dream of since we were providential lasses. Needless to say, I fancy reading.

I feel privileged to exist in this generation where almost everything is accessible in just one click. I have downloaded countless EBooks for the past couple of years and they have swamped the EBook shelf of my phone, causing me to lie awake during ungodly hours (again) and catching me leer at thin air with the hallucination of being one of the characters. Does it ever happen to you? You know, sometimes, you read a book and you feel like you are one of the people in the book.

I thank my dad for having been supported my fetish by doling out volumes of Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys (yes, I still have them until now) when I was at a very young age. Reading served as my two-hour intermittent escape from reality. It supplied me a place where I could be a princess at my own right, a despicable sorceress or sometimes, even a one-eyed incubus just like the character Polyphemus in the old Grecian mythologies.

I was really considered as a bookworm when I was in high school. My teachers would often catch me riveted to those little V.C. Andrews paperbacks (my favorite!) during class discussion and they would give me violations. The result: a couple of my English teachers (who share the same fetish) loaned me some of their favorite books and we discussed about the plots over cups of coffee during dismissal or lunch time. It was amusing! It even reached the point when I no longer had to present my library card when I wanted to borrow a book from the library; I was permitted to borrow anything I want (with the promise of returning it, of course). Worst case scenario: me-skipping-an-exam-day because I had a new book to read.

Vigorous days came and things were different. My love for reading was put into hiatus for a little while because of things I can’t (or simply don’t want to) explain. But now I am definitely back on track. I just finished reading a book last night. It was splendid merely because the genre is young adult which makes it more personal and relative to people my age. This is the genre I’ve been clinging on to for the last couple of months and here are the recent ones that I’ve just finished:

DASH AND LILY'S BOOK OF DARES-- an exciting tale of finding true love 
through a dare, it's exciting because the two protagonists 
don't see each other until the last few chapters

LOLITA-- one of the most controversial books in the history of time where a pedophile
falls in love with a 12-year old nymphet, illicit and downright immoral but inspiring

NICK AND NORAH'S INFINITE PLAYLIST-- perfect for typical teenagers,
 this was made intoa movie but the book is faaaar better than the movie

THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER: one of the best books I have
ever read in my 19 years of existence, no kidding

WILL GRAYSON, WILL GRAYSON-- a book about love and sexuality...
read it and you'll see yourself laughing. 

I still have an outstretched queue of books to read on my E Book shelf and thanks to my phone, I can read them anytime, anywhere. Just like what my dad always tells me, “Read to achieve”. 

Faith, Mighty Faith

It may not show but I am a very religious person. I may not look like those Pentecostals because I don’t wear my skirts right down to my ankles and tie my hair in long braids reaching my butt… but one thing’s certain, I am a strong believer of my God.

A couple of days ago, I was fixing some of the clutter in my room and in one of the drawers I found one of the birthday cards that my dad sent me. It was dated September 20, 2000 which was my 9^th birthday. It said,

To my dearest daughter Sophia,

Happy birthday. I thank God for this day because exactly nine years ago from today, God bestowed upon me his 3^rd greatest gift for me-you. Your mom is my second greatest gift and you are my third and your sister is the fourth. But God’s greatest gift to me is God, Himself. I want you to remember that, my daughter that God will always be there for you as the years pass. Your mom and I won’t be able to guide you through every step of the way as you grow up but God will be there for sure. He will be there in your times of doubt and He will be helping you reach your dreams. Remember to pray always and just trust God. I am sorry if I have spanked or reprimanded you at times when you were small but that is just my way of showing you how much I love you by disciplining you. If you were hurt, the hurt that I felt was twice as much because I love you and I would never want to hurt you. Always remember that you are a blessing to me and I will always be proud of you. I miss you terribly and I love you, Attorney Kamille Borromeo.

Love,

Papa

Yes, my parents are very devout Christians. Since I was a kid, they would FORCE my sister and me to go to mass every Sunday to attend every religious program that ever existed in our parish. Proof is that I have been a very active member of the organization of Lectors in our parish since I was in the third grade up until now (10 years and counting). I thank my parents and the people in our parish for inculcating in me the mighty faith that I have now.

This Holy Week, I was so pleased that I was away from school, away from friends and most of all, away from temptation. I was able to ponder about a lot of things. I am not one of those people who vow to themselves that they will be living renewed, sinless lives after Holy Week but I was just stimulated that faith can conquer everything, even move mountains and part seas.

Whenever I have a major problem that I can’t share to anyone, not even my mom or my best friend, He was always there to listen. See, I am not fond of sharing my problems to other people because I don’t want them to feel the heavy load that is against my back but God is always there even when I don’t tell him to. He eases the agony and lightens the load. That is why no matter what the odds are, suicide has never been one of my options because I know that I’ll make it through. I may not make it through as triumphant as what I would imagine myself to be but I’m sure I’ll make it through and that’s all that matters- regardless if I fail or succeed.

Right now, someone very close to my heart is having an immense problem. This person is at the top 5 of my “Favorite-beloved-I-would-die-for” list and seeing the person laden burdens me almost as much. If only there was something I could do to alleviate the person’s load but the sad reality is that, there’s really nothing I can do but to lift it up to God. I continue to believe that this is all a part of God’s perfect plan.

You may laugh if I will say that I believe in miracles. Everyday is a miracle and the greatest miracle is love- the imprudent, all-encompassing love. We don’t just see God when we love but God is love, Himself.

I am just 19 and I know for sure that life will be giving me additional loads to carry. I never ask God to give me a light load, rather, I pray for Him to give me a strong back. I might fall but I will stand up with my head held high because no matter how many times we fall, God will always be there to pick us up and all we have to do is just believe in Him. Faith, mighty faith is everything. 

S&S

Since my first class ends earlier than usual, I would bugger off the library and just dive into the eBook shelf of my phone. Last Wednesday, however, I thought about how these two “activities” below are so much coincidentally alike so I began my very own version of the writing practice and wrote my thoughts After 15 minutes, voila! I had a poem, just like that. One of my friends even saw me so engrossed at writing and she laughed at how I deal with boredom. Disclaimer: this is the original, unedited version I wrote at the library so it’s really inferior and downright lame, nevertheless, don’t hate.

S&S

Acquire a staggering companion

Apportion a room

Terminate the beaming candescent lights

Leave it all to the well-lit moon

Set forth by the bed

Gash the silly garments

Acclimatize your famished core

Fragile as you are, gear up for the war

You fidget as your mate traces the silhouette of your gossamer skin

But you are submissive as yearning instantaneously creeps in

Briskly the sensation recoils

Your temperature skyrockets, simmers and boils

Hormones ignite an uproar

Heat thrusts through your veins

Your crust is greased, your body lubricated

The upshot of all the yearnings accumulated

It gets better when you get to the fragile zones

Seemingly irresistible when it reaches your neck and shoulders

It’s tickle-ish, Oh so tingling

Excruciating but definitely satisfying

All the while you can’t think of any other

But the rhythmic locomotion of you and your partner

This is heaven on earth, c’mon take a dip

Close your eyes and bite your lower lip

The aching is intolerable

But it’s tied to pleasure so abominable

Just let out a sigh of disbelief

Couple it with moans, whimpers and groans for relief

Catch your breath to keep up with every blow

You might want to scream but you can’t ‘because it’s a turbulent flow

So the pace accelerates

Getting faster every second just like an automobile in a race

Alas! It reaches the peak, you feel the penetration

Just endure the soreness and writhe in anticipation

Exuberance encapsulates as you burst in excitement

Speedily the entirety transmutes to ardent

Right after you return to fetal position

Promptly you feel like a brand new person

You realize the aching was worth

Saying goodbye to your virginal birth

Yes, SPA is a lot similar to SEX

A breakthrough from all of life’s vex

Like a hungry wolf you crave and thirst for it

Because you know deep in your heart that you really deserve it

Just Like a Unicorn

If I were a mythical creature, I would be a unicorn.

When I was a child I was habitually seen by my parents deskbound on the floor, engrossed to those coloring books my aunt gave me and as I skimmed through, there was this one page which really caught my attention. In that page was a white horse with a goat's beard and a large, pointed, spiraling horn projecting from its forehead. I saw a unicorn. It gave me a hard time on deciding what colors to use for unicorns in contrast to those typical imageries that were on the other pages like chickens, cattle, and ducks humbly because I haven’t seen a real unicorn. A deep fascination on unicorns grew inside of me from that day on up to present.

So, I did a little research and here’s what I gathered…

The unicorn is a legendary animal first revealed by the ancient Greeks. It became the most important imaginary animal of the middle ages and Renaissance when it was frequently described as an EXTREMELY WILD woodland creature, a symbol of PURITY and GRACE and the most interesting part? It can ONLY BE CAPTURED BY A VIRGIN.

But why am I writing about unicorns? The question is quite rhetorical and my answer: “Why not?”

Though they aren’t existent, I still regard unicorns as the second most interesting creatures ever to walk the face of the earth (next to humans, of course) not because I live in a world of crazy impunities but because I see myself parallel to a unicorn.

Since this has been a fish-eating-fish world, there is no room for weaklings. Unicorns have this sense of pure-driven ferocity like they can overcome all the odds. I, in one way or another consider myself as not really fierce but quite a risk-taker. No matter what the glitches are, I persist to be as calm as I possibly can and I don’t de-stress by leaving work as work but I strive to get the work done.

I often see unicorns in legends of ardor where a knight in shining armor conquers seemingly insurmountable odds to win the heart of a damsel in distress which is why I associate unicorns with romance. I, though not very evident, am a self-proclaimed hopeless romantic. When I was in high school I would drown myself into those little Harlequin paperbacks and snuffle at every sad story of the characters’ unrequited love all the while, feeling like I am the character in the novel, myself.

I am extremely wild as well not because of my undertakings but extremely wild in terms of thought and imaginings. One time I imagined myself diving into an enormous fountain (as enormous as the Trevi Fountain in Italy) filled with mobile phones… and besides, the mere fact that I am writing about unicorns is downright preposterous considering that they don’t even exist in the first place.

Just like unicorns, I consider myself pure even though I sometimes appear to be tough and mean. Behind this façade, I carry with me an honest heart. Everything I do is a product of a pure conscience. Well, I also encounter some spiritual turmoil from time to time. There are those times when I feel like God is taking everything away from me. There was one time when I thought of committing suicide through a bathtub electrocution with a hair dryer, just like what the poets do. However…we don’t have a bathtub, ha-ha! Thinking about depression will just depress the shit out of you! Looking at what has been taken away from you is a bad way to go through life. Looking at what you can give to others is far better. So, go ahead, a simple act of giving your friends a massive hug will make a big difference not only in your day but also in theirs.

So, even if they remain to be non-existent, unicorns will constantly be one of my utmost drives to go through life because just like a unicorn, I claim to be STRONG, VALIANT and most of all, BEAUTIFUL.