Breathtaking

Dear life, I have exceeded the acceptable limit of stress this year. I’d like to be reimbursed in a form of a happier, stress-free 2011...Naaaah! Just kidding!

     It has been my personal practice to have some sort of a recollection this time of the year, when it’s about to reach its end. I would usually listen to old songs, review old photos and videos and recall all the happenings since January 1 as if in a form of a chronological flashback or dramatic media res. I would then cry over all the instances when I laughed so hard that I peed, hoping that those moments will have a part two in the next year to come and I would laugh at instances when my self-esteem was really down the drain, having the I-was-able-to-get-it-over-with feeling with unparalleled bragging rights. In fact, I was deeply fascinated by this Facebook application a week ago which showed me all of my statuses since January 1 up until December 24. I can’t help but smile or even laugh at all the ideas I had over the past months. Nostalgia is indeed a bitch.

     2010 was splendidly rich with twists and turns. Love blossomed and love withered. There were friends gained and fortunately, none lost although there is lack of communication. The bottom line is that I was able to get it over with, and with a commendable finish at that. A big part of my, shall I call it “triumph” goes back to my family and friends who have been very supportive of my endeavors no matter how seemingly impossible and downright challenging. My family- from immediate up to my distant aunts, uncles and cousins never fail to inspire me. My friends give me their unfathomable care that whenever I feel like I’m catapulted to the deepest pit of hell, they are there, willing to experience hell with me. Their simple act of giving me a massive hug causes my disposition to rapidly shift from awful to good, to better, to awesome. To my friends Gerhard, Nikki, Erice, Nelson, Anika and Bonn, no amount of ‘thank you’ can probably suffice.

     As the year ends, I have some bizarre, convoluted but matter-of-fact and slap-on-the-face realizations. First, I realized that I don’t really have a talent. Yes, I may have certain skills but they’re not really something that I am proud of because I believe that I learned those through rigorous trainings or unanticipated life experiences. People say that everybody is special and I personally think that it is just another way of saying that no one is. Makes sense, don’t you think? Second, blood is thicker than water. I know that I’m not really affectionate when it comes to my family but I intend to correct that this year.  Third, by knowing for a fact that suffering is necessary to gain wisdom. I used to whine at every minute detail, but now, every time I’m racked with sorrow or even sometimes when I’m just acutely miserable, I will try to remember that my problem is nothing compared to what Jesus had when he was nailed to the cross. Moreover, correcting my attitude is most of the time the solution to the problem. And lastly, that I should always bear in mind that God’s greatest gift to me is God himself which means that everything I do from this day onwards should be for his glory.

     I’m thrilled as well as anxious to spend yet another year of my life. I bet it will be another one hell of a roller coaster ride but I’ll be sitting back, enjoying the ride despite the topsy-turvy flight because I know that it’s all part of a great plan.

     So, I thank you, my dearest blog for being my constant companion through it all. You are my preposterous diversion, my fountain of youth, my self-inflicted pain and most of all, my sweetest downfall. Having you is way better than having a boyfriend. You have been my most sympathetic outlet though I know I have failed at times when I could have updated you more often but I didn’t due to some inevitable circumstances or sometimes, just because of my indolence. I know I owe you a lot of posts already and I really feel terrible about that. Allow me to share a few of my favorite lines from my some of my blog posts this year:

·         I’m not washing my bloody erring hands for the sake of coming clean like what Lady Macbeth did. In fact, I, myself am guilty as charged

·         We are salivating just like the stray dogs. We are no less than the agitated spectators who watched the gladiators fight to death in the old Roman arenas. And that is just mean.

·         I’d rather mingle with the company of other men than voluntarily put a leash on my neck. After all, I am just a teenager. It’s too early to stress myself about the yucky love stuff.

·         Without a doubt, our emotions escort us to do the most impulsive things. Emotions can fetch us laughter or could pilot us to tears.

·         “I want you to know that I’m both happy and sad and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.”

·         et. Al

And so today I vow that I will try to update you as often as my schedule permits and that I shall not blog about the senseless stuff (like I always do). It’s not really a resolution; it’s more of a covenant.

     As I leave 2010, I intend to leave with it all the negativity and all the impure thoughts and hang-ups. They’re no good as they could only spoil the New Year. Goodbye, hatred, insecurity, and shattered dreams. Hello to peace, prosperity and love. It will be a clean slate, an untainted new beginning. But if I were to live 2010 all over again, I would do it, ceteres paribus (in Economics means ‘with all things remaining constant’).

     So here I am today, geared up to conquer the next 525,600 minutes by simply being the same-old-brand-new me- 19, single, ambitious, sometimes attacked by insanity, talent-less but valiant… nevertheless, happy and definitely contented.

Through it all, I can say that 2010 was epic- grace under pressure, style under stress, death-defying and to cap it off, yes, breathtaking!

‘Til the ice breaks,

Sophie

Wish me luck!

AS REQUESTED BY MY DEAR FRIEND, NELSON REMO...HERE GOES MY PERSONAL STATEMENT.....I'M KEEPING MY FINGERS CROSSED...SO HELP ME GOD...

It is a well known fact that power attracts, and like many others, I have been enchanted by the power of the written and spoken word. I strongly believe that the media is the most powerful entity on earth and that without education, you're not going anywhere. These fascinations have created a deep interest in media and Journalism provides the perfect outlet to develop my skills.               The reason why I am applying for the 2011 Study of the U.S. Institute for Student Leaders on New Media and Politics is that it is a constructive program that will help me in realizing my aspirations of becoming a journalist and a public relations practitioner in the near future. I am particularly attracted by the institute’s powerful pedagogical resource, vibrant intellectual atmosphere and a comprehensive agenda.                It is my conviction that, in the United States, advanced educational theories, technologies and information will facilitate me immensely in the achievement of remarkable academic progress, fulfilling my aspiration to become an accomplished professional in the field of Communication. This will not only bring my dreams into reality but also make my life more meaningful and rewarding. Considering that I do not come from an affluent family, this is truly an opportunity as it could be my one and only chance of going to the United States. See, I have never been able to go outside of my home country due to my family’s financial instability but I believe that my financial incapacity will not be a hindrance in achieving my aspirations. In fact, I am thankful for the efforts of my parents who are strong believers of education for having supported my studies, no matter how burdensome.   I have heard enough about the media industry to realize that experience is everything, and as editor-in-chief of our student paper, I gain regular experience of journalistic writing and meeting deadlines. That is one of the reasons why I love to write, the challenge of putting over a complex thought or concept to a large audience of people and convey it in such a way that everybody will understand. I have also developed many skills such as interview techniques and being able to see things from another perspective. I will be more than willing to share my significant experiences with other people and at the same time learn from their own experiences as well. Journalism has a myriad of undiscovered dimensions. Having an opinionated disposition, this is solely the result of my avid interest in commentating on socio-political occurrences in the country. Being a student leader myself, it acts as a concrete platform to provide the necessary tools for legitimizing self-expression and simultaneously help me attempt to bring out the hidden details of various everyday incidents to the scrutiny of the public eye. I consider it as an encouraging solidification of the tattered union which joins me to the masses through written communication. I am proud to state that my juvenile attempts have been recognized by the schooling bodies to which I am grateful for bestowing me with awards in Journalism and student leadership since I was in high school up until now. The United States has maintained its prime position of being the core of academic excellence and securing a respectable degree from its prestigious institutions will plunge me downright into viable competition. Working amidst people with untainted calibre and becoming familiar with a culture splendidly rich in terms of diversity, heritage, and customs will be added as another enjoyable experience to the diary of my life. Thank you for giving me the opportunity of being a part of this program.

Rumor has it

It’s heartrending to think that the people I once admired are the same people giving me horror.   

I really don’t want to talk about this in here but what the hell?! This is my realm. I can pretty much do whatever I want regardless of whether or not I’m making sense. After all, it’s called a blog.

To start off, I better pose this question: WHY DO WE DELIGHT IN RUMOR MONGERING?

I don’t see anything beneficial in doing the act except maybe for the fact that we enjoy other people’s misery or if there are none, we create one for the sole purpose of having fun. We, as insatiable beings just love to see or at least hear about people having a feud. Whenever we hear gossip, we immediately jump into it and let our spiky paws take a grip of it, never letting go. We are salivating just like the stray dogs. We are no less than the agitated spectators who watched the gladiators fight to death in the old Roman arenas. And that is just mean.

What’s even more disappointing is that this is already an inherent setback that is seemingly impossible to eradicate. Although we have seen its despicable consequences several times over, still, we continue to do it. We never learn.

There are those kinds of rumors which are not really rumors but concealed truths. So when they are already out in the open, we just accept the fact that they are finally out and we even thank the Lord for having exposed them so that nothing will be keeping us awake until the ungodly hours. The second kind are the rumors which are circulated for the purpose of a having a good laugh. They’re just gags so we don’t really give a damn. And the third kind is the most horrifying. It is the kind which annihilates most of its victims; catapult them into the pit of darkness, never to recuperate. These are rumors which are total hoaxes spread my manipulative insecure people whose purpose is to destroy the core of blameless human beings.

How does it work? Well, they generate something, fabricate it, and orchestrate such big fuzz over it. What’s worse is when they already rant and tirade over a thing which might not even be true. It’s just like writing a news report about something which is not verified. It could be fallacious and worse, people might believe in something which is not even true. There are even people who easily believe in the rumors and instantaneously inject their opinions as if they have complete knowledge on what is really happening when the truth of the matter is that they don’t have the slightest idea.

I’m not washing my bloody erring hands for the sake of coming clean like what Lady Macbeth did. In fact, I, myself am guilty as charged. It just came to my senses that indeed, spreading malicious rumors are the doings of pea-brained individuals who aren’t brave enough to talk face-to-face so they spread malicious rumors instead.

Let me get this straight. I don’t want to pick a fight. I’m just stating the facts.

They, of all people should not delight in wrong; instead, revel with the truth. Anyway, truth hurts. *Read between the lines*